Monday, February 25, 2008

I'm baaaaack!

So I had a day from hell this past Friday. 

I thought I was deleting a useless Google account, but in fact I was deleting a very useful Google account - the very Google account that is associated with my blog. And so when I clicked the delete button, I actually cut myself off from my blog. User error to the nth degree.  

So after a weekend of fretting (and dropping multiple f bombs)...I'm back....thanks to my friend, Peter, who not only knows all there is about blogging and computers, but also has friends in high places. In his case, it's not only what he knows, but who he knows. Thanks, Peter!

So I watched the Academy Awards with a heavy heart last night thinking I wouldn't be able to blog about it (I got word this afternoon). But like a lot of the Idol contestants this season...I have been given a second chance and will use it wisely. (I promise to back up my blog AND not to hit an unnecessary delete keys.)

Here's what I remember....

While I thought Jon Stewart did an ok job, I thought the show was one of the most boring I've seen. I actually wound up going to bed before it was over and watching the rest of it this morning. That's an Oscar first for me, folks.

I do love that Javier Bardem and was glad to see him win. I liked his speech - what little I understood of it (loved Jon Stewart's translation - hilarious). I could have done with less of the montages and more of the key acceptance speeches. (and by key I do not mean that I am interested in hearing one second more from the winner of the sound editing award.) I think Javier looks like Jeffrey Dean Morgan, the actor who played Denny Duquette on Grey's Anatomy - but way cuter on account of the Latino influence... 

And Tilda Swinton won the female version of Javier's award. She's a strange bird: an odd, odd, duck. Is that really the shade of her hair and eyes? I understand that she has never been to the Oscars before and she claims that she's never once watched them on TV (which was evidenced by her get-up). What rock did she crawl out from under? 

Marion Cotillard was the Leading Lady winner last night. I'm sure she was fantastic in the movie, but I'll have to take the Academy's word for it as I have little to no desire to see it. And while her performance in the film was award worthy - her acceptance speech at the podium fell short. (And I didn't get the mermaid look. Her dress was more like a Halloween costume than an Academy Award gown. )

Again, I ask, would it kill the actors to do a little performing during the acceptance speech? Every writer in Hollywood was out of work for the past three months, you would think that Marion could have found somebody to help her write a little acceptance ditty. 

Enter Daniel Day Lewis whose speech was very classy. He took home top honors for his work in "There Will be Blood". I love this guy. Always have, always will. Sure, he's a little out there, but most artists are. His suit looked like something Captain Kangaroo might have worn to the Oscars and I certainly don't get his hair. And for the life of me I don't know why he doesn't fix those teeth (Let me answer my own question...he is British. Enough said.) But he's a brilliant actor and a very, very classy guy. Loved when he kneeled to the Queen. I did notice that earlier in the evening he and Johnny Depp were both chomping on chewing gum, but by the time it was speech time, he lost the gum. 

Who else won? The Cohen brothers! For both picture and director. Good for them. They are the quirkiest of quirky, but very likable nonetheless. I don't think either of them really smiled, nor did they look the least bit excited, but I kind of like their overwhelming low-keyness. It's endearing. 

I was pleased as punch that Diablo Cody won for the Juno screenplay. She looked like I-don't-know-what with that bad-ass tattoo and that wacky-ass dress of hers. But she is a pretty girl and obviously very talented. And her speech was one of the best of the evening (I guess you'd expect that from a writer.) 

And to be perfectly honest with you...I don't really give a rat's ass about the other awards. I get annoyed when they spend a lot of valuable time on people that I don't know. (read: haven't been in People Magazine). Take for instance that old man who hobbled up to the podium and waxed poetic about his career as a....what was he? A cinematographer? I think. I don't know. Or care.

And I would have rather seen Matt Damon up there for The Bourne Identity than the guys who won for sound editing and film editing for the same film. Harsh? Perhaps. But Matt's got the glitz and the glamour (Um, hello, People named him Sexiest Man Alive) - the sound and editing guys do not. Simple as that, folks. 

And yes the usual suspects were present and accounted for. Most of you know how I feel about Jack Nickolson, Renee Zelwegger and Cameron Diaz (and I don't care if I misspelled their names as I have no use for them). Last night, they did not disappoint. Good to know that Jack is still ass-clown extraordinaire, Renee still cannot open her squinty eyes (although she must be able to see her way around a gym as she looks exceptionally buff) and Cameron Diaz is still in need of a shower. Hated her dress. Hated her hair. (and I might add that her dress was in need of a good pressing). 

Nicole Kidman is another favorite of mine. Not. Her necklace reminded me of tinsel on a Christmas tree. Do you think the woman has ever been in the sun? Ever? She's a weird color. And speaking of weird colors - Kerry Russell's dress was a bizarre color. And it was doing something weird to her breasts - kind of smooshing them down. Weird. Not attractive. And the grey color made her look dead. But at least she wasn't wearing red like 80% of the women last night: Helen Mirren, Katherin Heigel, Anne Hathaway, Miley Cyrus just to name a few. (Um...could Katherine Heigel have been any more nervous? I think not.)

I watched a little bit of the red carpet scene. I thoroughly enjoyed when Gary Busey attacked Jennifer Garner and Ryan Seacrest. That guys is as high as a kit. Always. Jennifer Garner looked lovely last night. I didn't love her hair, but that's ok. And speaking of hair...what, pray tell, did John Travolta do to his? He looks like a Chia Pet?! 

Nobody, nobody, NOBODY looked as good as George Clooney. Nobody - male or female. The man is smokin' hot. 

And that's all I've got. Not a great review, but I'm dealing with sub par material this year. I had high hopes, but they let me down. I hope I don't feel that way tomorrow when my Idol friends take the stage...


Anonymous said...

I'm happy that your are baaack. Love your message, love the messenger.

klarocque said...

Love the new blogger format. I agreed with ALL of your comments. Except that I would describe Travolta's hair as hair in a can!! Dwayne "the rock" Johnson had the EXACT same heinous look!

BFF Erin said...

Welcome back Laurie! I know the angst you have suffered (at your own hands mind you) for your art and whoever Peter is, he is now my hero too! Way off on a few of the Academy Award comments but as usual, always amused by your musings!!

And the world is back on its axis and all is well...

BF Susie said...

Well, I loved the awards.  No, not because of any of the big winners--we knew who they all would be.  But because of the two singers from Once, my favorite movie of the year.  That song made me ball during the movie, and I loved those two.  So happy they won.  See that movie, if you haven't already.

LJR said...

It's Coen. No H. Cameron Diaz has the widest mouth in Hollywood. I loved the mermaid dress!

Barb said...

Agreed on the George Clooney one even come a close second to him.
Also, John Travolta's wife should NOT have let him out of the house looking like that! He had that spray on hair! Looked like someon dipped him in ink!
Does anyoneelse find Miley Cyrus as annoying as nails on a chalkboard??