Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Top 12 Men

So, the show did not disappoint. 

I must admit...the first shot of that scene on the balcony where the men line up and awkwardly dance to each other's performances - yeah, it made me a little sick. I wish we could fast forward to the top 12 on the big stage and be done with that waiting room that looks like the inside of the "I Dream of Jeannie" bottle on steroids. (Did anybody notice the Ford tire embedded in the middle of the coffee table? What the?)

Before I comment on the performances, can I just say that I am pretty sure that Paula is back on the meds? Granted, she wasn't slurring her words like she has been known to do in the past, but she had that all too familiar glazed look about her. She was basically incoherent. I think she was talking about colors because that's what she was seeing while hallucinating. And really, who dresses that woman? Since the theme of the night seemed to be "keep it current" would it kill her stylist to heed the warning? Where do we start: the bling, the shag hairdo or the silver lamme blouse?

So I liked David Hernandez. I think he's got potential. Good to know that he comes from a broken home and used to live in the projects with his single working class mother. The Idol producers love that crap. They will be sure to exploit the hell out of that tidbit when they are not focusing on the female contestant whose father died, excuse me - was killed, a few days before her audition. 

Chikezie? Loser, loser, loser. So, was he cut last year or the year before? Cause he should have been cut this year, as well. I don't like his style or the fact that he was disrespecting Simon. He'll probably make it this week, but he's not long for the Idol stage....

I hate when the contestants beg for their votes. It's so demeaning. While Ryan is busy telling us the number to dial, they stand next to him and mouth their numbers and contort their faces and hold up their fingers and squint their eyes. It's unnerving to watch and yicky.

As is David Cook. Yicky. I liked his performance and I think he has a good voice, but man, do I hate his look. And I'm not all over his personality. What was up with those bracelets he was sporting? Necessary? I think not. I think he'll be around awhile, so hopefully the stylists will get their hands on him (and those bracelets). Yicky. 

Unfortunately, Jason Yeager may never get the chance of having the stylists help him out. He was tragic this evening. I think next week Jason will be back at his day job as a singing server. It's a shame, because he's doing it for his son. Why is it that every freaking contestant who has a child is doing it for their kid? Whatever. It so doesn't tug at my heart strings, Jason. But I will say - your kid looks like a young Matt Damon.  

I like Robbie the Rocker. And I know I have said before that I think Simon and I are twins separated at birth because he often says exactly what I say. Well tonight it was Ryan who took the words right out of my mouth. Actually, we said it at the exact same time - Robbie looks like Justin Timberlake. I'm not all over the Survivor buff that he wears on his head, but I'm not going to hold it against him. Maybe he's obsessed with Survivor like I'm obsessed with Idol.  

Apparently the 16 year old total package, David Ar-somethingorother, turned 17 sometime between Hollywood and tonight. Love him. I cannot stop smiling when the camera is on him. I get this goofy grin going and I just want to eat him with a spoon. He's so humble and genuine and adorable and best of all - he can sing! 

But that other young thang, Danny Noreiga? Yeah, no. He's off my list. Gone. He grosses me out. Enough with the skinny jeans already. And what's up with the man with the least amount of testosterone in the top 12 singing Elvis? So not natural. I do think he's got a good voice, but there was no evidence of that tonight. No. Uh-uh. 

I know I like to play the "he looks just like so-and-so" game, but doesn't Luke look just like Luke Perry? Wow. He was bad news tonight. Bad, bad song choice, dawg. You will most definitely be cleaning carpets again in the very near future. I do some of my best singing while vacuuming; it looks like I am not alone.  

Colton, aka Ellen DeGeneres, has a good voice but is destined for Broadway. Enough said. He will be voted off and invited on the Ellen Show by mid-March. 

Garret, Garret, Garret, I totally know what Simon means about him needing some fresh air. He's crack addict skinny and has the complexion of a corpse. Ouch. He is a nice kid, but so lacks that star quality. What was it that his mother told him - go for it or go home? Uh-huh, enough said. 

Loved the Rastafarian dude. Loved him. He also puts a smile on my face. He's just so joyful and hip and now. There was something John Travolta-esque about him. Not sure if it was his eyes or his mouth - but something was making me think of John Travolta. 

But they definitely saved the best for last. Michael Johns is hot. Love his look, his voice, his style, his personality, his accent. I'm not all over his Atlanta debutante wife, but that's neither here nor there. He can always leave her when he becomes rich and famous. He seems like he's already famous to me. 



ASF said...

Michael Johns lit my fire!! Enough said!!

Mike's Universal said...
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Mike's Universal said...
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Mike's Universal said...

Is it wrong that Idol has pros (or at least semipros) among this year's final 24?

Yesterday's USA Today had an article on the topic.

We seek your opinion!

Anonymous said...

I loved the Rastifarian the best. And YES, I kept thinking of John Travolta too. So cute.

Michael Johns was also excellent, but I wonder: if he wasn't so damn gorgeous, would he have been considered one of the best by Simon?

Much as I agree with Simon for the most part, he definitely is swayed a LOT by looks.

Did you know that the American Idol results are traded in the stock market? You can bet on who you think will win, and also on who you think won't win. My money's on Michael Johns. What a heartthrob. (from BFSusie--can't remember my password)

LHH said...

Some idol observations:
My top three include Michael, Robbie and Jason. Made excellent 60's song choices. Everyone else was lame (except for the young David, still on the fence with him.) Luke looks like Luke Perry from 90210 and freaky Danny looks like Steven Cojocaru from Entertainment Tonight. Colton and Garrett were too young and weird.
Onto the girls!

zsa zsa said...

Michael Johns = Loser