Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Top Ten Men

I think Paula had her best night. 

Not only did she look halfway decent, she actually had a couple of legitimate comments. I think she may have been completely off the meds tonight. Good for her! (get the visual: I'm clapping my hands with my fingers spread wide open and my hands stiff as boards). 

Ok, so where do we begin? 

The producers promised that this season they were going to put more focus on the contestants and less on the guest stars. So tonight we got to learn something unique about each and every singer. Truly. Fascinating. Stuff. 

We learned that Michael Johns is not only a hottie who can sing, but a hottie who can sing and play tennis. I thought he did a good job with that Fleetwood Mac song. He'll be back next week and when he returns, he had better up the ante. 

In Dreadlocks' Up Close and Personal, we learned that he is not about the interview. He likes to sing, but he doesn't like to talk or have his picture taken. And apparently throughout the Idol process, he's gotten a lot more "not music stuff" than he bargained for. I thought he sang ok tonight. He needs to keep those eyes in check: every once in a while they do this weird stare thing that kind of wigs me out. He still reminds me a bit of John Travolta - more like John Travolta doing Vinny Barbarino.  

We didn't learn much about Luke. I'm not so sure there is much to learn about Luke. Simon was spot on about him: he lacks charisma. In fact, I think he lacks a pulse. And as a result, he may be going home this week. Back on the road for another six years with his a cappella group. 

Quick question...are the coke bottles on the couch in the I Dream of Jeannie waiting area new? I think they may be new. Perhaps a new slip cover? 

Who was next? Robbie the Rocker. Robbie the drag racing Rocker. I don't really like him. But I'm sick of hearing the judges tell him that he doesn't know who he is. That's just rubbish. He's a shallow drag racin' rocker who looks like Justin Timberlake. Leave it at that. 

Good to see that Danny was sporting the skinny jeans again. I'm sorry, that boy is more feminine than I am. It's just getting too damn hard for me to look at him. He's on fire. Simon says that he stands out. Sure he stands out, because he's a freak show. He gives me the heebie jeebies, big time. 

I did like David Hernandez (do I need an apostrophe s on that end of that name? Uncle Ryan, what say you?) performance tonight. And I enjoyed seeing him as a junior olympian gymnast. Now help me out here - wasn't he the guy who told us that he was raised by his single mother somewhere in the projects? There wasn't much money and times were tough? Well then who, pray tell, was paying that gym membership? Hmm. David might be rewriting his history, but that's ok, it's his to rewrite. 

Jason, Jason, Jason. That cheesola version of the Doobie Brothers was bad. And I don't mean bad good - I mean bad bad. Love that he's still looking for a song that will work with his guitar. Um, Jason? You've wanted to be on American Idol for how long? You've had a loooong time to pick a song that might work with your freaking guitar. But guess what? Time is up, dude. You need to go home. And if America gets it right - you will be home by week's end. 

What did we learn about Chekezie? Oh, that his name isn't really pronounced Chekezie. Riveting stuff. I'll give it to you that this week was better than last, but I still don't like him. I think he's extremely obnoxious and I don't like the disrespecting act that he's got going on with Simon. It does nothing for him. And this is a dude that needs something going for him. 

David Cook is another disrespecting fool. Don't these characters know that Simon has a lot of influence over America? It's so not funny when they take those pathetic swings at Simon's appearance. They never attack what he actually says - because what he says is 100% spot on. I wasn't bothered by David's word nerdiness until he started dissing Simon. Now when I think of David, I think of these words: cheeky, flippant, smart-aleck, and irreverent. To name just a few.

And once again, they saved the best for last. That little David What's-his-Name is simply precious. Love his brush with (Kelly Clarkson) fame caught on grainy video! How cool is that? Did you happen to catch Paula's nose running while she was reviewing his performance? Necessary? I think they need to get Kleenex as a sponsor. They could prop a box of tissues right next to the Coca Cola cups. Paula was moved beyond tears - she was moved to snots. He really was that good. Love his voice, his look and most of all his personality.   

And now it's the ladies turn to woo... 


ASF said...

I was a little disappointed in the men's program last night. I have to agree with SImon that it was not Michael Johns best performance but I think he will be safe. I wish we could drop about 6 guys this week! I am looking forward to the top 12. Sweet David brought tears to everyone in our house last night....we were crying right along with Paula. I was laughing so hard when Paula said she wanted to pinch him, squeeze him and hang him from her rear view mirror! I feel the same. He just leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy inside! I hate to admit this but I googled David's name and you would not believe the pages and pages of info on this kid! Very interesting and I have to admit very entertaining... you should do the same!

Anonymous said...

Yep, apostrophe s is needed. "David Hernandez's performance..."
-Uncle Ryan