Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Back to school....

And so they are gone. And so is summer. Today is the first day of school and my kids just finished the dreaded photo shoot in the driveway and now are off to the bus. (for more photo opps, I'm sure). 

The sumer of 2008 was the fastest summer on record. Why isn't the media all over that? And why is it that time flies when you are having fun? While eating his breakfast this morning, Beck glanced at this morning's headlines and wanted to know what a "VP Pick" was (apparently Obama will be texting his choice sometime in the very near future) why does it seem like Obama has been running for President for 14 years and yet summer lasted a mere 14 days? It's hardly fair. 

But now it's back to a schedule. The first day of school is kind of like New Year's day for me. I have lots of resolutions. I want to get back on an exercise schedule and an eating schedule (ie: stop eating everything in sight and washing it down with a cocktail). I want to cook dinner a few times a week (notice I did not commit to every night.) I want to be patient and kind when it comes to homework (that will undoubtedly be the first resolution to be broken.)

OH. MY. GOD. Time out. 

The phone just rang. It was was Maddie (who would leave the house each morning without her head were it not conveniently attached to her body. Swear.) calling from her bus driver's cell phone, "Hi Mom, I need my tennis shoes." 

Are you freaking kidding me? Rrreally? This is how you want to start things? Wow. 

Suddenly summer is a distant memory and all I can remember are the countless times she sat down to do her homework only to realize she had forgotten her books. As my blood pressure steadily climbs, I run to find her tennis shoes so that I can make it to the bus before it pulls out of the parking lot. I can assure you that I looked lovely in my fleece bathrobe and Medusa-like hairdo as I leaped into the tan minivan (in bare feet, mind you) and pulled out of the driveway at upwards of 90 mph. (Did I mention she never said please or thank you? She's going to pay for that one. Dearly.)

As I approach the bus stop, I see loads of cute moms with big smiles on their faces waving to their precious (and no doubt reliable) kids on the bus. I screech in on two wheels and roll down my window to announce that I am here with a couple of pair of tennis shoes (god forbid I should choose the wrong pair for the Princess, so I brought every tennis shoe I could find in her cubby) and will not be getting out of the vehicle to catch up as I am sporting a bathrobe. Hardly embarrassing. At all. And then it occurs to me that THAT is exactly how she is going to pay - I am going to climb on to that bus in said bathrobe looking like I-don't-know-what and I am going to call for Maddie on the top of my lungs announcing to all of her friends and upper class men that Maddie has a total hag for a mother! 

But before I could get the seatbelt unbuckled, Maddie is leaping down the stairs of the bus. She grabbed the shoes out of my hands and was back on the bus begging Steve (the bus driver) to close the doors and pull away. I could smell her desperation through the windows. She knew the lunatic in me had been unleashed and she was frightened for her life and the lives of her fellow passengers. As she should be. My job is done. 

So much for peace and quiet this morning. Maybe it's a good thing that summer is over. I need some distance....


Guiding Light said...

Thanks for taking the sting out of the end of summer by making me laugh my ass off. Maddie will cherish this story about her near-miss, which would have been the talk of the first day of school.

Anonymous said...

OK, you have just spoken for all moms everywhere. I LOVE the idea of coming out in the robe, hair and bare feet (up north i'm in my slippers). I'm using it. This should really be published in a new mother's handbook. Valuable information. Soooo glad you're back.


dancingnance said...

This is classic Laurie humor!! Way to go Maddie, getting your mom worked up on her first day off in months!!!
Loving your blog BYW.