Tuesday, January 13, 2009

American Idol: Phoenix

I like Kara. She's a keeper. I like her style, her singing voice and her perspective. As far as I'm concerned she should have been a replacement, not an addition to the crew. Of course, she couldn't replace Simon because without Simon there would be no Idol. And Paula offers the producers the right amount of drama and comic relief. But the Dawg brings nothing to the table. He should be the one looking for a job, not me. In fact, screw freelance writing, I want to sit in the chair next to Kara. 

I'm not commenting on the losers. I just can't go there...to do so would be to play into their pitiful  hands. The whole thing is so contrived and so trite. But I will touch on the winners...

The judges awarded 27 golden tickets to Hollywood and by my count we witnessed about ten of them. My favorite was the girl named after Stevie Nicks and reminded me of Kelly Clarkson. She had a beautiful voice and a star quality. Her voice wasn't as pretty as Tattoo/Body Pierce Girl's...but you mark my words, those tattoos are going to hinder, not help. It's one thing to paint your body, but another to stretch out your ear lobes and pierce your upper and lower lip. She said she did it to avoid ever having to work in an office, but by doing so, she earned herself a one way ticket to the circus. Hopefully, Barnum and Bailey will embrace that look, because middle American will not. 

The 16 year do-gooder-nursing-home-singer was adorable and sweet. As was the oil rigging dude. But you know what? Nice guys (and gals) finish last. They both made it to Hollywood, now she needs to grow some teeth and he needs to grow a pair of something else in order to survive the likes of Bikini Girl...because that one is pulling out all the stops. She's in it to win it, folks. 

I liked Lonely Girl, too...the one with nary a friend or family member. Loved her voice, but she was a bit too eraser-face for my liking. But, have no fear, it's nothing a stylist and make up artist can't fix. I have faith. 

I didn't quite get the Gay Horror Film Maker or his bizarre entourage. What an odd bunch. And I'm not sure why the Nerdie kid got a pass; he didn't have the voice or the stage persona. And I'm sorry, but the blind guy did not have what it takes (and I'm not talking eyesight). 

And so tomorrow we're off to Kansas City....


Anonymous said...

What is an eraser face?

L. said...

An eraser face is somebody who is too washed out. No definition. In this case Lonely Girl needs to tone down the platinum hairdo with low lights and high lights. She needs to add mascara and shadow into her repetoire to make her eyes pop. And she needs to define those cheek bones.

Again, nothing the AI stylists can't handle. You remember the transformation of Elliott Yamin, do you not? And surely you've seen Oprah before the professionals get their hands on her. A little hair and make up go a long way. (note to self: practice what you preach, it would do you a world of good.)

Anonymous said...

Indulge us...we want to hear about the losers!

popsavant said...

I've gotta disagree with the Lonely Girl thing, I thought she was a knockout. And FWIW, if we're applying facial labels, I'd go with the time-honored butterface on Bikini Girl.

Talent wise, the big "huh" for me was JB Ahfua, the guy who wanted to win to help his family. Sad story, I'm sure, but I didn't think he could sing.

Cowboy Hat Girl could turn into something in five years, with age and a vocal coach.

Pink Hair might go as far as Gina or Carly, but no farther. Her look is even more extreme than those two... I like it, myself, but we'll see what America thinks.

No world-shaking talent last night, anyway.

wcw said...

I just saw your blog and two things to add:
1. Tatoo/piercing woman did not say she did it to “avoid having to work”, she said, “I did it so I wouldn’t be forced to work in an office”. I thought this was the most pathetic comment of the night, is she really that deluded?… no one will ever force you to work anywhere, it’s a privilege. The only thing she did was ensure she will never work in a professional/high paying career. My kids and I had an interesting debate about that one, before my daughter said, “OK Dad… your right… now just hit play so we can see the damn show.
2. I was so impressed with how quickly the judges called the vote, and that Simon often voted first. I was worried with 4 it would take forever, but they seem to be moving along… hope that continues.