Ahhh...it's No Mentor Night on Idol. I don't know if it's a cost cutting measure or what, but I'm happy for the break.
So....Anoop starts us off and promises to bring back his high energy while singing Usher. Randy didn't like the vocals. Kara said it sounded like a bunch of frat boys dared him to sing Usher. (Clearly referring to Anoop's cheering squad this week.) Paula liked the vocals. And Simon said it was a complete and utter mess. I tend to agree with Simon, but it wasn't until Anoop opened his sassy-ass mouth that I realized how completely over Anoop I was. Mr. Belligerent snapped, "I'm just trying to be an R&B artist..." Yeah, well, try being an R&B artist without American Idol, my friend...it aint' going to happen...so zip it and lose the attitude.
Megan Joy is next singing Bob Marley/Lauren Hill but sounding like Ethel Merman. If you close your eyes, you can almost hear her belting out "There's No Business Like Show Business..." Very odd. Kara thinks she's in trouble. 'Ya think? I have no idea what Paula was trying to say. Simon said it was boring and indulgent. And Randy went blah, blah, blah all the way home...
Danny Gokey sang Rascal Flats, because, he said, "Everybody loves them." Except for me. But I thought he did a great job. Paula made it short and sweet (who knew she could do that?): she liked it. Simon said it was his best performance to date. Randy...um...yeah, I have no idea what Randy was talking about. None. Whatsoever. Dude, what language does he speak? But I gather he liked it. As did Kara who said something about him moving everybody emotionally and giving it his heart and soul. She kind of looks like Julia Roberts tonight. She's so freaking deep, I want to stuff a sock in her mouth.
Allison. Allison. Allison. The outfit is going to be the death of her. She busted out the guitar (which purely served as a prop) to no avail, because nobody is going to be able to get over the get-up. She needs to shave that head of hers and start over.
Just the Way You Are. Rrreally? This is one of iTune's most popular downloads? Hmm. Don't get me wrong, I like Billy Joel...but my kids' reaction was, "This song is old...it's from the first Shrek movie." Oooh, it goes back further than that, kids...I was in the 7th grade when that song hit the charts. I thought Scott sounded like a lounge singer. Last week I said he sounded like the piano player at Nordstrom, but on second thought, I swear the guy at Nordies is better. But, the judges LOVE Scott. L-O-V-E because he is B-L-I-N-D. I. Do. Not. Get. It. Every season has a contestant that I just can't get my head around and Season 8's conundrum is Scott. For sure.
But just as I do not fully understand why the judges embrace Scott, I don't get why they diss Matt. I thought his version of You Found Me was really good. Really good. And if it came down to Matt vs. Scott...I would choose Matt every time. He doesn't deserve to go home.
Lil Rounds sang A Celine Dion song. Bo-ring. And man, does that girl have some junk in her trunk or what? Randy liked it, but told her she needed to "young it up a bit". Kara who, again, looks a lot like Julia Roberts tonight, appears to be auditioning for a role. She takes herself waaay too seriously. Paula is incoherent: for the life of me...I couldn't possibly translate what she said. Simon thought it sounded like a wedding performance. Clearly Lil has a problem with the whole song choice thing. But really, does song choice matter all that much? As if the record company is going to let her pick the songs; they are going to tell her exactly what to sing.
So I was in the 7th grade when Billy Joel sang "Just the Way You Are", and the 6th grade when Wild Cherry sang "Play that Funky Music". And yet, Adam managed to bring a current, hip, trendy vibe to the oldie but goodie. Paula was on her feet...so you knew she loved it. She called Adam a true genius; man, is she a freakin' mess tonight. Simon agreed that it was original. Randy went on and on and on and all I could deciper was that he thought Adam "worked it out, dog." And Kara thought she was in Studio 57. (I wish.) I love Adam, but I hate that controlled scream thing he does....
And once again, they saved the best for last. I thought Kris' performance was the bomb. (do I sound like Randy?) Once again, Paula is on her feet - so you know where she stands. And Kara's waving her arms and calling it artisty - so you know where she stands. Randy is saying something about "slayin' 'em dog" - so you know where he stands. And Simon calls it clever, cool and Kris' best performance to date. I'm with Simon. I love Kris and his crooked smile.
So Ryan rolls the recap tape and here we have it folks:
1) Anoop is too cool for school
2) Megan is a freaking train wreck
3) Danny is solid and dependable and so very likable
4) Allison = The Rocky Horror Picture Show
5) Scott MacIntyre is blind
6) Matt can't catch a break...
7) Lil is lucky that her kids are so cute
8) Adam looks like an Elvis impersonator
9) Kris is tonight's stand out favorite....
So who is going home? I think it's Megan's turn....