Thursday, March 26, 2009

Stevie Wonder...Live


I'd like to skip over everything and go right to Stevie Wonder, because he was fantastic, but I can't go there without first mentioning what a sweaty mess of a man that Ruben Studdard is. Just gross. The sweat was streaming down that big, fat head of his like a waterfall, for crying out loud. Seriously, what is that about? This from a woman who sweats with the best of 'em, but in all my years, I have never been blinded by my own sweat. Horrible.

Ok, so the bottom 3: Matt, Michael and Scott. Matt had no business joining the likes of Michael and Scott. None. Whatsoever.

Sweet Jesus, WHO IS VOTING FOR SCOTT? I need names. And while I am at it: who is NOT voting for Matt? (besides me, I mean). If I were to vote...it would have been for Matt. All I'm saying is, 36 million people voted last night and a lot of them got it wrong. Completely wrong. Matt? Rreally? In the bottom 3? He was brilliant last night!

You don't think it has anything to do with that mole in the middle of his forehead, do you? Cause if it is - that's just wrong. If Scott can get the disability vote, then surely Matt should get the goiter/mole/facial issues vote. Apparently those folks are vastly outnumbered.

Wow.

Ok, so I'm going to pass on Smokey and Joss Stone. I love Smokey, but he kind of looks like a woman, no? A little bit? An older woman. Maybe an older lesbian woman? (not that there is anything wrong with that.)

But Stevie? He's worth mentioning. I love Stevie Wonder (but, seriously, Matt? In the bottom 3? Really?). I am not alone in my love for Stevie. Clearly Kara loves Stevie. And Kris loves Stevie. And Anoop loves Stevie. The whole audience loves Stevie. Barack Obama better love Stevie because he got a shout out. And Matt is in the bottom 3? I can't get my head around it. I think the mole is going to have to go. Before next week.

Megan is clearly getting the sex vote. She's the only good looking woman and she's getting all the macho votes. (Am I oversimplifying things? Megan = sex vote, Scott = Americans with Disabilities vote, Matt = Americans with goiters and moles vote). So you know what we have to do? Allison is going to step it up a bit. She needs to clean up her image. I'd like to see her natural hair color return as that particular shade of orange/red is not found anywhere in nature and shouldn't be found on a woman's head, either. We can make her cuter. Somebody has to give Megan a run for her money. We need to split the sex vote. Divide and conquer.

So in the end it's Michael who goes home. No shocker there. He ain't too proud to beg, but it didn't work. I can't say I'm sad to see him go. Nor was my son, but he did say, "Michael isn't my favorite, but he has a lot of manners." That he does, a helluva lot of manners. He seems like a very nice guy with a wonderful personality and a great attitude and I wish him well and hope there is still a spot for him on the oil rigs. Really and truly.

Let me just end by saying, Matt had no business being in the bottom 3. Have I made myself clear?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Laurie, hilarious. Spot on. Am I the only one who's tivo cut off the end? Can those people not stop talking long enough to end on time so I can see the whole damn show? I'm a member of the people with goiters and moles, and I vote for Matt in the top 2, with Adam, and Allison third, as she's assured of a great career no matter what.

Anonymous said...

With that mole comment now I will start associating Matt with Casaubon in "Middlemarch." Oh dear. Emily

Anonymous said...

For the record - mole surgery leaves you with a big scar that looks like a mole. Just sayin.

Anonymous said...

Smokey's comment about not smiling in the Temptations song had me wondering. Didn't the Temptations smile when they were doing that cool walk thing. Or maybe David Ruffin was scowling.

Cheri said...

Still puzzling about some of last night's events, but I'm relieved that, ultimately, the right decision was made. I'm also glad I'm not the only one distracted by the "mole." I seriously wondered how quickly he could heal if he had it removed TODAY. Yes, there would still be a scab/scar/mark next week, but at least it wouldn't be three-dimensional ...

Anonymous said...

I love ur blog it is so funny

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you with matt her was so good. I love ur blog and love how u just speak your mind. You dont hold anything back. I agree Scott cant sing that well but has a nice story that has got him this far. I love how Micheal is gone, he always bothered me to the bone... Adam, Danny or Allison better win or I will officially stop watching ido. Oh wait I said that last year....

graciela said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


Joannah

http://windscreensite.com