I could start by mentioning the record setting 64 million votes, or I could tell you how much I hated the School's Out for Summer performance. I could write something about Slash being too cool for school or I could tell you how much those freaking Ford ads bug me. I could reference Danny's self-deprecating critique (which I thought was adorable and endearing) or I can simply cut to the chase and comment on Paula...
Holy mother of pearl.
That was the cheesiest moment in Idol history. I didn't fast forward through the performance, but I had to keep looking away. Even now, hours later, I'm still embarrassed for her. Were we really supposed to believe that she was singing those electronic vocals? Here's what I wish her manager had said to her,
"Paula, honey, no, you cannot perform on the Idol stage. Outta the question. You've gotten old, doll, and that's ok, it's going to happen to all the Idols. You need to let this crazy ass dream of yours go. You are no longer a singer or a dancer or addicted to pain pills. You've got yourself a sweet gig at the judge's table where you are paid millions of dollars for incoherent banter. Don't ruin this for us, Paula, honey."I can only imagine what Simon was thinking. And I can't really concentrate on the rest of the show after that performance, so I'll make it short and sweet:
- No Doubt: how many times has Gwen Stefani been on Idol? I swear it's every season? She could be the Idol House Band, for crying out loud. Love that she's hitting the road because she's sick of being a stay-at-home mother.
- Kris is safe! And shocked. I swear he's shaking.
- Daughtry, now this is the kind of rock that I prefer. But I think Chris needs a backup singer or two, no? (I hear Allison is available...)
- Adam is safe. No shocker there.
- And Allison is going home. She's a good sport and has a great attitude right up until the bitter end. I see big things happening for Allison.
So now it's the three boys going home to their hometown parades. I think it's going to be an Adam vs Kris showdown. (which reminds me of that ridiculous newspaper that Paula's backup dancer held up depicting a Paula/Simon showdown. I have to wrap this up right now...I can't go there again...)