Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Ladies First...

We're singing songs from the Billboard Charts. If you don't know the drill by now, you've clearly never watched the show (contestant Crystal Bowerbox apparently falls under this category). You need to sing well, make it your own, and for the love of Pete, do not sing a BIG song unless you've changed it to the point where it is unrecognizable to the judges. Don't even think about singing Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston, or Randy will call you out so fast your head will spin.

So, do the contestants deliver the goods?

It's the first time I've ever laid eyes on Paige Miles (And by the way what is up with her eyes? They look like something you'd see on a creature in Avatar). She's good; I like her up until the very end when the camera goes inside her mouth for her final note. And then she shares even more when she tells all of America that she needs to "pee". Hmm. Bad song choice, bad word choice. Let's hope she doesn't get sewn into her clothes again next week.

Next up, Ashley Rodriguez. She sings a Leona Lewis song and is a little too plastic for me. She breaks the cardinal rule of Idol: singing a big song and not making it her own. Enough said. But I think she did enough to get invited back next week.

Janelle Wheeler is a wine sales rep. If she wins Idol, I want her old job. She sings Heart's What About Love. If I had a dollar for every time I heard this song on Idol, I wouldn't need the job as a wine sales rep....

Lilly Scott gets the most original award. She wants to be regarded as a musician, not just a singer. I think she proves that she is a musician and a great performer when she sings Fixing a Hole by the Beatles. She's been at this music thing for years living out of her car and performing on the streets of Denver. Her parents are in the audience tonight. Hmm. Did they not have a spare couch where Lilly could crash when she was trying to make it as a star?

Katelyn Epperly reminds me of Meg Ryan. She sings Oh Darling and I think she's just alright. Did Randy just call Ellen "E"? Yes, I believe he did. E is almost as cute as Katelyn Epperly. (R is not).

And the first disaster of the night goes to Hayley Vaughn. She's screaming I Want to Hold Your Hand at the top of her lungs and the top notes hurt my ears. She has a new nose piercing and new hair extensions and I can't get past her Chicklet teeth. She's a sparkly mess on stage and I do not want to see her back next week.

Hayley's disaster is followed by another...this one brought to you by Lacey Brown singing Landslide. She's got some bad, forced bed-head action going on and she's sporting a toga made out of my grandmother's table cloth. She's changing the melody and has a very odd way of annunciating. She was cut last year right before the Top 24....I think this year she'll be cut right after the Top 24.

Michelle Delamore sings Alicia Keyes' Fallen and sings it well, but she certainly doesn't make it her own. And yet, the judges don't call her on this fact. I think it's because she's got the look they want to know better and she does have pretty vocals. She'll be back and hopefully next time she'll shake things up a bit.

Didi Benami is this season's Brooke White. She sings The Way I Am and seems very happy with herself until the judges tell her that they are less than impressed. Simon actually tells her that it was dreary and a bit indulgent. As usual, he's spot on. She'll be back next week, hopefully having heeded their advice. Love that she is tear-free tonight.

Siobhan Magnus = Ally Sheedy from The Breakfast Club. She's odd and mysterious and has no idea what "dark horse" means. Wow. I am not a fan. I don't think she's a breath of fresh air; I think she's just plain odd.

Singing Hand in My Pocket complete with guitar and harmonica, Crystal Bowersox seems a bit out of place on the Idol stage. When Simon suggests that she does something a bit more creative to separate her from other subway station performers, she quips, "But they don't allow original songs." Really, Crystal? Never mind Simon's advice, my advice is get your hands on Season 1-8 and get yourself familiar with the show, for crying out loud.

And last, but not least is Katie Stevens who seems genuinely shocked after singing Feeling Good that the judges aren't feeling good. She is an old fart for a 17 year old. In fact, she's an old fart for a 40 year old. But Kara thinks she has "ridiculous chops" so I'm sure she'll be all set. Can I tell you how much I hate Kara's trite remarks? Ridiculous chops. Really?

So, I say Hayley Vaughn and Lacey Brown need to pack their bags, but we'll have to wait until Thursday to get the official word because tomorrow night is the boys turn to dazzle us....

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