Inspiration...

I'm two hours behind because as of last week, my heart belongs to Glee...and Glee trumps American Idol. I'll take Rachel, Finn and Sue Sylvester singing Madonna over Aaron, Sioban and Big Mike singing inspirational tunes any day of the week. Tonight's episode was brilliant (Glee, not Idol).

Alicia Keyes, Princess of Soul, is tonight's guiding light (on Idol, not Glee) and first up is Casey James singing Don't Stop. Casey is going to have more success in the modeling business than he will in the music business. He is so handsome and has a flair for style. I think his voice is good, his guitar playing is great, but man is this guy stiff. On second thought, I think he'll make a better mannequin than model.

Lee Dewyze is singing The Boxer. I am in love. With Lee. With the song. With the arrangement. With his voice. And even with the sparkles in his hair.

Tim Urban is back to his old tricks. His performance is below par, but when the judges confront him with their negative feedback, Tim smiles and giggles and agrees with Ryan that nothing rattles him.

I Believe I Can Fly is a pageant song, but Aaron Kelly chooses it because he's been singing it since he was 5. My question to the 5-year-old Aaron is what's so wrong with the Itsy Bitsy Spider? I Believe is a big song when you're 5 and a big song when you're 16. But regardless of it's size, it put me to sleep and may have put Aaron in the Bottom 3.

Siobhan Magnus, who is dressed like Tinkerbell, is on my last nerve. This is the third week in a row that she chooses a lame song and then goes on the defense in a 5 minute rebuttal to the judges justifying her ridiculous choice. She can't play that eccentric card anymore; she's used up all her chances. If I want to watch an oddball misfit singing each week, I'll tune into Glee. Oh, wait, that's what I do. Well, alrighty then, I guess I have no use for Siobhan anymore. And quite frankly, I think America will agree.

Michael Lynche is singing about a hero. And he bores me. To tears. He just earned himself a spot in the Bottom 3 with Aaron and Siobhan.

Crystal Bowersox is the judges' favorite tonight. She looks beautiful (in a Medusa sort of way), sounds extraordinary and is choked with emotion by the time she finishes the song. Now that, my friends, is inspirational.

Idol Gives Back, the 2 hour fundraising event of the year, is scheduled for tomorrow night. In the spirit of giving, I'm not sure if they will have the heart to give somebody the heave-ho. But if somebody is packing a suitcase tomorrow night, I prefer that it be Big Mike's duffel bag. America had it right a few weeks ago and the judges went and screwed it up.

Elvis Night...

Adam Lambert has more charisma in his little finger than all of the 9 contestants put together. He's articulate, eloquent, engaging and the best mentor that American Idol has ever delivered. Heat Miser hairdo aside, it's great to see Adam back on Idol.

Ryan reminds us that the one save of the season has been used, so two Idol wannabees will be going home this week. I think we should make it three to celebrate the return of Glee to the Fox airwaves. In fact, let's send them all home and watch Glee three times a week.

That won't be happening, especially with Idol Gives Back right around the corner. With that said, who made it to the bottom three?

Not Crystal Bowersox.

Definitely Andrew Garcia. Adam does not mince words; he tells Andrew that he's boring and he gives him some constructive criticism. Does Andrew listen? No. Will Andrew go home as a result? Yes.

Not Tim Urbain...who is my favorite of the night. Simon says it best..."You went from zero to hero." And could he be any cuter? No, he absolutely could not. He's adorable.

Not Lee Dewyze who sings A Little Less Conversation like a rock star. The judges and Adam still want to see Lee smile more and lighten up, but I disagree...I like him just the way he is...a little mysterious, a little complicated and a little edgy.

Perhaps Aaron Kelly. In his introduction he says that Blue Suede Shoes probably isn't the best fit. Um, then why are you singing it, Aaron? He appears scared out of his freaking mind, so I opt to fast forward through his performance. I can't seem to look at him tonight, so I have to believe that a good chunk of America will feel the same way, and as a result, Aaron will suffer in the vote department.

Based on her performance, Siobhan Magnus should be in the bottom three, but she may get sympathy votes based on her comeback to the judges. After being criticized for seemingly not knowing what type of a singer she is, Siobhan fires back that she doesn't label herself, she just likes to sing. It reminds me of the interview segment in a beauty pageant when Miss America is asked "What quality do you like most about yourself and why?" But in case you haven't heard Randy say it a gajillion times - this is a singing competition (not a beauty pageant).

Unfortunately, Big Mike is going nowhere fast. He puts me to sleep singing about the ghetto. What is up with that nodding thing that he does with his colossol head while sucking in his lower lip? Slowly and methodically he nods his head yes as if someone is asking him a question. Maybe Big Mike hears voices in his ginormous head?

Katie Stevens will not be a top vote getter, but her performance should not land her in the bottom three. But it probably will....because Katie bugs people. The song she sings is called Baby What Do You Want Me to Do? But Katie's performance could be called, "Oh No You Di'int!" She's got some serious attitude going on complete with neck rollin' and head bobbin' and finger waggin'. The vocals are good, but I think America is going to side with Simon who thinks it's loud and annoying. Katie wants to be America's sweetheart, but sadly, she is not.

Casey James will be safe. I think. His performance is just ok, but I think he'll get the votes he needs. Unless, like me, America is getting sick of looking at his stiff neck. He moves like he is wearing an invisible neck brace.

So who is going home? I believe I've given you the Bottom Four and a Half...but if I had to pick two...then my money is on Andrew and Aaron.

I Didn't Watch Idol This Week...

I don't have a good excuse as to why I didn't watch Idol this week, other than I'm just not that into it. The contestants bore me, the judges bore me and Vanity Fair arrived in the mail last weekend and I had a lot of reading to do.

But last night after watching The Good Wife and reading a lot of emails asking why I didn't blog about Idol, I decided to fast forwarded through the results show (at record speeds). I got a quick recap on everybody's performance and it was enough to give my two cents:

• Yes, Crystal Bowersox is a great artist, perhaps in a league of her own musically. But there is nothing about her personality that draws me in...and I still have a hard time getting past her teeth. Sure, the veneers are a vast improvement over Hollywood week, but she still kind of skeeves me. I think she needs a good scrubbing from head to toe. I want my Idol to be clean. (and while I am not a fan of the group sing...Crystal cannot lip sync to save her life.)

• Yes, Lee has a great voice and a great vibe, but I am soooo sick of the judges telling him that he has no confidence on stage. Lee has no confidence period, folks. His fellow contestants confirmed it...he doubts himself after every performance. That's his personality. The judges are constantly telling the Idols to be true to themselves...well, Lee is 100% true to himself; he is void of an ego. Unlike that big doofus Mike whose ego is bigger than his enormous body.

• Casey James is more than eye candy...he can actually sing. But he's awkward and goofy and I just don't enjoy watching him. This from a girl who likes candy - both the mouth and eye varieties. He's got a neck the size of a giraffe's - not that there is anything wrong with that - but it's just uncomfortable to watch. Stiff. The guy is way too stiff.

• Katie, Tim and Aaron are swell, but they lack originality. They all belong on the Disney Chanel, not Fox.

• And what those three lack in originality, Siobhan makes up for in leaps and bounds. She's ok when she sings, but when she opens her mouth to actually speak and try to make sense? Yeah, no, she completely loses me. Every time.

• The only thing that Andrew has going for him is that he's Lee's friend and roommate. So, for Lee's sake, I'm ok with him sticking around, but he brings nothing to the party.

As a group, they are the most unappealing Top Ten that Idol has ever showcased. I'm not just talking singing talent, I'm talking personality and charisma. I don't think any of them have what it takes to become a pop star.

So...Ryan starts the show by warning us to brace ourselves for a surprise or two. Whatever. Obviously one of the judges' favorites is the bottom vote-getter and surely they are going to exercise their right to save. Really? Was that so hard to predict? You know who I want to go home with week? Kara. But that's not going to happen.

So let's talk about Mike. The producers have been molding Mike into their teddybear since the moment his wife had her first contraction. By the time she was 9 millimeters dilated, the powers-that-be decided Mike had a good story. But I'm not sure America is buying it and based on this week's vote...clearly the producers missed the boat.

He is not nearly as charming as they think he is. Did you see his face when it became clear that he had received the lowest number of votes? Nothing likable about that face or that body language. In fact, he might have taken a lesson from fellow contestant Tim and freaking smiled! But he did not. At all. He looked pissed and if his fat biceps could have spoken, I think they would have said, "How dare you not vote for me, America!"

Even after Simon told Fat Mike that he would be around another week, his body language didn't say, "I am humbled, thank you for this opportunity. This is great!" it said, "Damn straight I'll be around another week. I deserve to be here." At least, that's how I translated the fist pumping and and chest thumping.

And speaking of body language, I didn't get the impression that the other Idols were totally overjoyed that Mike got the nod. There is not a lot of love between the Idols. I notice it each week when one of them learns that they are safe and returns to the couches. They don't high five one another or give each other hugs or words of encouragement. There is no sign of a strong group dynamic. (Which surely makes filming those Ford commercials an especially painful process.) I've noticed it on the judges' table, as well. Granted, Kara would sit on Simon's lap if they let her, but she rarely, if ever, has an exchange with Ellen (and visa versa). I'm just not feeling the love this season. Maybe Paula was the glue that held them all together.

Anyway, Mike might be around for another week, but I'm not sure I will be....