Monday, August 30, 2010

Chew on This

After school, Beck and I returned home to find a mess in the mudroom. Georgia had destroyed the throw rug and when she tired of that, she helped herself to a piece of art off the wall. It just happened to be a piece that Beck created last year after reading a biography on Barack Obama. Beck wasn't upset that his masterpiece was ruined, he just laughed and said, "I guess Georgia is a Republican." I told him not to jump to any conclusions, Georgia might just be frustrated with how Mr. Obama is handling his job as president. As long as she continues to love my Beck and not Glenn Beck, she can call my house her home (although she may be confined to her crate from here on out regardless of her political persuasions).

I'm not going to lie to you...she's driving me a little bit nuts with the chewing. Everything, and I mean everyfreakingthing, goes into her mouth. I know, I know, she's a puppy and that's what puppies do, but I grow weary. This morning I took her for a walk past the elementary school in my neighborhood. As luck would have it, there was a gaggle of children on the playground and as soon as they saw Georgia they swarmed us. A few of the (smart) kids asked if she bites before they reached down to pet her. I was loud and clear, an attempt at full disclosure, when I declared "Yes, she bites and it really HURTS because she's got teeth like a baby shark and she's not afraid to use 'em." But, that didn't stop some of the (dumb) kids who ignored my warning and entered the jaws of death. You know what? I can only do so much.

I managed to pull her away from the kids (before any skin was broken) and we continued to stroll down the street at a nice clip until Georgia literally stopped dead in her tracks. Up ahead was a child's wagon blocking the sidewalk. A small, blue, harmless plastic wagon that apparently looked like something out of a Freddy Krueger movie to Georgia. Two minutes ago she was gnawing on some poor kid's arm and now the sight of child's toy was wreaking havoc on her mental state. So I became one of those crazy dog people trying desperately to coo and cajole my poor pup into walking past the big, bad, scary wagon. I was even using that ridiculous dog voice that people use when they talk to animals, the one that registers several octaves above a normal voice. "Come on Georgia, you can do it. It won't hurt you, sweetie." But, to no avail, she was not budging. This went on for about a minute until she spotted a squirrel and took off at top speeds. Then I became one of those crazy dog owners who scream at their dogs at the top of their lungs as if they understand, "Georgia, I don't have my running shoes on, slow down or I'm going to kill myself!"

The rest of the walk was pretty uneventful. She snapped at a few falling leaves, actually catching several before they hit the ground. And she took bites at random bushes along the way, just for the hell of it. And she greeted every single person that we passed as if they were her best friend and she hadn't seen them in a year. And when we finally made it home, she was absolutely exhausted and collapsed in the mudroom.

And I did a jig.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Meet Georgia

It's been awhile.

My last blog entry was on Wednesday, June 2nd, the last day of school. So it's only fitting that I return to blogging today, Wednesday August 25th, the first day of school. In the past, I did a jig on the first day of school, but not this year. One, I was not ready to get back into a routine and two, I have been walking like Cro-Magnon man since Sunday when I pulled my back out, so the thought of doing a jig brings tears to my eyes.

How did I pull my back out, you ask? I'd like to tell you that I was trying out a new yoga position or lifting an exorbitant amount of weight over my head. But the truth is, I was lifting my puppy. My 12 pound puppy. Who, at the time, was chewing on electrical cords under my desk. I saved her life and in exchange lost the use of my spine. I'm really not that selfless; if I had to do it all again, I'd choose electric shock for Georgia and an intact back for me. (Note to crazy dog people: that was a joke.) (Kind of.)

So, yes, after about 3 years of my kids begging us for a dog, my husband and I caved. I was envisioning a small dog that didn't shed and didn't necessarily like people. We wound up with a yellow lab; a dog known for its excessive shedding, love of people and who will most likely tip the scales at 60 pounds when she is full grown. Not exactly the lap dog I had in mind.

For the most part, she's a good dog, but every once in awhile she gets all psycho and reminds me of that crazy pup in Marley and Me. She's lucky she's so cute, because I was not in the market for a new best friend, especially the four legged variety. I'm not saying that I don't like dogs, I'm just saying that nobody has ever confused me with Dr. Doolittle. But now that the kids are back at school, I'm all she's got. And somehow or another the two of us are going to have to learn to communicate.

This afternoon Georgia and I took a long walk to meet the school bus. She was ecstatic to see the kids, but then again Georgia would have been just as happy to see an ax murderer get off the bus. She doesn't play favorites, she loves everybody and everybody loves Georgia (or so Georgia thinks). My daughter was overwhelmed by all the homework she received on the first day of 8th grade. My son came home with a horrible migraine. Georgia, on the other hand, wouldn't know a bad day if it bit her in the face. Sure, she can be a pain in the neck (or the back, as the case may be), but she has already brought our family a lot of joy and something tells will just keep getting better. I'll keep you posted.

Here's to a great school year!