Thursday, May 29, 2008

It's been a week...

Kimberly Caldwell? Necessary? I think not. 

I know I said I would blog about other things besides Idol, but I have to get the Kimberly Caldwell thing off my chest. For the record, David Cook is my boyfriend, not Kimberly's. Granted, I could have given birth to him, and so, yes, I realize that he's young, but I thought he had more sense then to date that trollup? Kimberly Caldwell? No, not a good way to jump start your career, David. (I think he needs to hire me as his manager.)

I must admit I've missed all the David appearances. I didn't see him on Larry King, I forgot to tune in when he was chatting with Regis and Skinny Kelly, and I'm sure he was on Ellen and I missed that visit, as well. But I'm still basking in the glory of his win and looking forward to him coming to Charlotte in August. (and staying in our guest room.) (BTW - Kimberly is not welcome in this house.)

So since the Idol finale, I've been consumed with the end of school year shenanigans. I swear I've spent more hours at my kids' school this past month than my mother did the whole time she was raising 5 kids. Rifreakingdiculous. Must the school extend me an invitation to every poetry reading, every band concert, every luncheon that my child attends? Look folks, I'll have plenty of time to spend with my kids this summer, so cut me some slack and carry on without me. 

I don't have a lot planned for this summer, so I'm sure I'll be blogging about my kids. My son, in particular, provides me with a lot of material. Take for instance his issues with socks. I can't tell you how many socks we have purchased, washed and after one wearing he declares, "Nope, these aren't going to work." What the? He's 8. He shouldn't be putting so much thought into socks. Last time we went sock shopping (yes, it's an event) I made him try on several pairs before purchasing them. I left the store feeling good and was convinced that sock issues would be a thing of the past. 

Fool. Said socks worked for about a month and then he started complaining about how they rode up on his ankle. And the top part was "too squared off", not rounded enough for his liking. And he really wanted a sock that gradually descending around the pinky toe. Swear. The kid is 8 going on 72. I listened in disbelief and then told him that he was going to wear those socks until they wore out, end of discussion. So he thought about it for awhile and then asked, "Can you sell them on e-bay?" 

E-bay? Really? I've never bought or sold a thing on eBay, so I'm not sure where he came up with this novel idea. Actually, I do. Everything he knows about eBay he learned from Weird Al Yankovick's eBay song sung to the tune of the Backstreet Boy's "I Want it That Way". In Al's version, he "Bought it on eBay". But I fired back, "How about if we keep the socks and sell you on e-bay?" He wasn't offended in the least, in fact, he was overjoyed, "YES! That would be awesome, my friends' mothers will bid on me." 

I'm going to look into eBay. Do you think I can inflate the starting bid by throwing in 50 pairs of almost-new socks?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

They Crowned the Right David!

I LOVE being wrong!

That was the best ending of any Idol season I've ever watched - and I've watched 'em all, folks. But for the love of Pete, I don't know why they wait until 9:59 to announce the winner. I wanted a minute or two to bask in the glory of David's win, but instead the credits started rolling and I was left alone and wanting more. What the? I could have done without Mike Myers' shameless plug for that ridiculous movie of his, thank you very much. That's 5 minutes I'll never get back. 

But how about that David Cook!? Is he the most deserving Idol ever? Oh, I think so. Humble and modest and sharing the spotlight with David Archuleta and the other Idol wannabees. The best man definitely won. So now I'm thinking Simon was behind Cook the whole time and last night was just his way of rocking the vote. He motivated the Cook fans to keep on texting. I hate to see some of those phone bills this month. But it was worth it, as America finally got it right! 

I read that next season they are going back to the 1/2 hour results show on Wednesday nights as the hour format proved to be too long this season. Oh, ya think? As long as they are revamping, they need to rethink the finale, too. It only has to be an hour and the last 15 minutes should be dedicated to the winner, not the last 7 seconds. 

Since I'm on a high, let's start with the highlights of the night:
  • I liked the opening David duet: I actually thought Radio Disney seemed very natural and did a good job. Who knew? (Sure, I can say that now, but you do realize that I would not be admitting that had he won, right?)
  • Loved Jason's encore performance of Allelujah. 
  • I think Carly and Michael Johns make a great pair, but I wasn't all over their song choice. But they could sing the phone book and I'd be happy. Kidding. I propose that if Randy uses that expression next season, he should be fined. $250,000 every time he says it. And we donate the money to a charity, thereby eliminating the need for Idol Gives Back.
  • Jimmy Kimmel's "Rosemary and Satan Cowell" reference was funny. Love me some Jimmy.
  • LOVED David Cook's Guitar Hero commercial! (for those of you who fast forwarded through the commercials - it's worth going back to check it out.) And yes, I'm buying Guitar Hero tomorrow. Unless I see the Archuleta version of said commercial. At which time I will promptly return Guitar Hero. 
  • Brooke and Graham Nash singing "Teach Your Children" was simply...adorable.
Ok, now some of the lowlights:
  • Donna Summer. She has no business trying to make a come-back. Dim all the lights, sweet darling. End of story.
  • Does Bryan Adams have AIDS? I mean no disrespect, I'm just curious.
  • Jonas Brothers. What the? I think David Archuleta needs to join their band. Or at least tour with them. 
  • Pat from the audience? Necessary? I think not. 
  • The Parade 'o Freaks. Why must the producers waste our time honoring the freaks who made the auditions unbearable? For the life of me, I don't get it.
  • Gladys Knight, Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey, Jr? So not funny. That time could have been allotted to David Cook, for crying out loud.
  • Carrie Underwood's get up? What are we calling that veil/scarf thing that flowed from her sleeves? Ah, but she could wear the phone book and still look beautiful. (Randy cannot say it, but I can.)
  • George Michael. Just because I wanted him to shut the front door so that Ryan would announce the winner. Paula was quite taken by him though, huh? He moved her. 
I am happy to report that the Reid family already has tickets to see the Idols when they come to Charlotte in August. I am going to offer my guest room to David Cook while he is in town. And, I'm pretty sure he'll take me up on my kind offer. Stay tuned.

And so, that is it, my friends. Thank you for all your comments this season. My in-box is filling up with congratulatory messages as I type. I promise to keep on blogging as I can rant and rave on many topics. But, for those of you who only have eyes for Idol...I'll see you next season. 


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Thank God it's Almost Over

Last week I hated Randy, this week I hate Simon. 

I only hope that Simon's desire to award the Idol title to Archuleta before the votes were even cast will backfire on the younger David by inspiring Cook fans to vote, vote, vote.

But the question is, will the Cook fans keep texting their votes for the next four hours? Hmm. Doubtful. They've got better things to do with their time, unlike Archuleta's fans who have nothing but time....

I found the show practically unbearable to watch. Granted, it was the first time all season that I watched it live and therefore could not fast forward through Lord Webber's insights or Clive Davis' words of wisdom. 

There was nary a surprise all night. And I'm so freaking bored, that I really don't have it in me to do a synopsis. Suffice it to say, Randy commended David Cook on the song choice even though the song was chosen by Clive Davis. He also mentioned that David Archuleta could sing the phone book, which for the umpteen millionth time was neither clever nor original. And, even after Lord Webber implored him to keep his eyes open, Archuleta lowered them to half mast to prove to us that he was feeling the music. And...drum roll please...the biggest non-surprise of the evening was Archuleta singing "Imagine." Imagine that. 

It was the song that first made me realize Radio Disney was a one trick pony. After Googling "David Archuleta Imagine" the first time he sang it (or what I thought was the first time he sang it), I found clip after clip of Archuleta singing the song in countless talent competitions and performances over the last 5 years. The boy doesn't have a hint of originality in his whole body. And even more unsurprising than him singing "Imagine" was that he couldn't put a sentence together when Ryan asked him a question. Honestly, after the first five minutes, Ryan wasn't even trying to engage him in conversation; he learned that asking Archuleta to respond would only result in meaningless grunts and growns. Radio Disney can sing into a microphone, but just don't expect him to speak into a microphone.

But to Simon's defense, it was not David Cook's best night. He should have sang "Billy Jean" or "Hello" to win over those fans who were still on the fence. (Do they exist?). But I admire him even more for yet again being creative and original and going out on a limb to tackle a new song rather than rest on his laurels. I liked Randy's line about Cook singing his face off tonight. It may not have felt like a winning moment for David Cook, but he's the winner in my book. He has grown in leaps and bounds. In a season that was otherwise boring and forgettable, David Cook transformed before our eyes from a comb-over hair don't to a hot rocker dude. He proved he could take a song and make it contemporary and make it his own. And he seems like one helluva nice guy. 

But my money is on Archuleta to win the prize tomorrow night. And that's fine. David Cook will do well for himself and this way Archuleta will be spared the wrath of his father. 

Wish I could say I am looking forward to the finale, but that would be a lie. I'm looking forward to something new to rant about. So, You Think You Can Dance?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Battle of the Davids

So it comes down to the Davids. 

I have no doubt that Syesha will land on her feet. She can sing, she can dance and she's got the look. It won't be long before she's gracing magazine covers, endorsing products, appearing on TV shows, starring in movies and singing her way down Broadway. She'll be fine. I only hope her father can stay clean. (It was good to hear him plug his former addiction to drugs and alcohol one last time, huh?). 

Ok, now is it me or has Fantasia morphed into Dennis Rodman? I think Dennis may have even sported that hair color once or twice. Wow. She is one scary dude. Simon's expression said it all. Fantasia definitely puts it out there. I'm just not sure I want it, thank you very much. 

I found the show thoroughly entertaining; the sap in me is all over those cheesy hometown visits. Of course, I found myself especially moved by David Cook's Up Close and Personal. How could I ever have pegged him aloof and full of himself? Shame on me. He is modest, humble, unassuming, sweet and genuine. And those are just the first five adjectives that come to mind. I could also rattle off talented, adorable, gracious, and original. I love that he didn't even plan on auditioning for Idol, and yet, here he is in the finale! A perfect ending would be for him to win it all. In a season where several of the contestants already had record contracts (and Star Search victories), how cool would it be for a guy like David Cook to win the prize?

Archuleta, on the other hand, has played semi-professional his whole life. Winning it wouldn't be a stretch for him. Not to mention it would make that freaky-ass father of his very happy and, really, he doesn't deserve to ride his son's coattails. 

I'm looking forward to the finale and taking a much needed break from Idol. Paula, her breasts and her profound inspirations have become too much for me to bear. I haven't heard any buzz about the finale, but surely Fox will not disappoint....

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

David, David and Syesha

I'm with Simon...David Cook wins the night. Hands down. 

But we start with the other David. 

David Archuleta is on a stage in his hometown somewhere in Utah (but you may think he is visiting the Emerald City) when the mayor (who bears an uncanny resemblance to the Wizard of Oz) informs him that Paula has picked Billy Joel's "And So it Goes" for him to sing this week. 

The music starts and David's eyes immediately lower to half mast while his right arm raises and starts waving back and forth. This is code for David is feeling the music. He sings it well and by the end of the song his eyes are almost completely closed. As are mine. His lullaby-sounding song has put me to sleep just as he has done every week this entire season. 

And to think...I was almost feeling sorry for Radio Disney after reading those reports of his crazy father being banned from the rehearsals. But my sorrow has quickly disappeared and I'm back to hating David Archuleta. And yes, I realize that hate is a strong word. And as such, I don't use it often. Only in extreme cases. 

Then it's Syesha Mercado's turn. Syesha sings Alicia Keys' "If I Ain't Got You" brought to you by Randy Jackson. Can I just say that I hate Randy Jackson tonight? He is freaking driving me crazy with his ridiculous feedback or lack thereof. I don't think Syesha does this song justice; it's very weak, but she manages to come alive for a bit during the chorus. And she looks phenom in her gold gown. 

Ok, enough about Syesha, back to Randy. Did you pick up on the passive aggressive feedback he gives Syesha? He says that he is happy that she waited until the very end to grow and shine and that is exactly why she is "standing there in number three." So I guess Randy thinks the Davids are better? Numer 1 and 2? He's right, but since I hate him tonight, I will not admit to agreeing with anything the buffoon says. 

Simon Cowell picks Roberta Flack's "First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" for David Cook. David's rendition of this song freaking ROCKS. His version is brilliant and original and contemporary and all those adjectives that the judges look for to describe a performance. But freaking Randy says it's predictable and that he wishes Cowell had picked a song that David could rock out with and do his thing. That's the best you can do, Randy? Really? Oh, wait, he did add that David can sing the phone book. Which is somewhat predictable when you figure that I have heard Paula and Randy use that description about 5o million times over the past 7 seasons. Randy is overpaid. He adds nothing. And I hate him. 

David Cook absolutely wins the first song contest. 

The second song is the contestant's choice.  

Archuleta tries to act like a 17 year old and sing a contemporary song for a change. Ah, but it's a disaster. He falls short with Chris Brown's "With You" proving, once and for all, that he is nothing but a balladeer. He is painful to watch and has a hard time getting the lyrics out and staying on beat. It might be his worst song to date. He is 17 going on 67. 

Syesha chooses Peggy Lee's "Fever" because it's a great song to showcase her sex appeal. She is pulling out all the stops. Sex sells, baby. And I'll give it to you, Syesha is hot. But Simon is right, the performance is very cabaret. She's excited about using the chair as her prop, but it reminds me of a scene out of Chicago (the movie). 

David Cook makes the best song choice with Switchfoot's "Dare You to Move". It sounds great, in fact, it sounds like a song that you might hear on the radio today. This boy is in a league all by himself tonight and I hope America gives him his props. 

And the last song for each of the contestants is chosen by the producers. I repeat - CHOSEN BY THE PRODUCERS. As such, the judges shouldn't say a blessed thing about the song choice as the contestants have nothing to do with the picking of the song. Even David Archuleta's father doesn't have a say in this one. 

So when Radio Disney is told to sing Dan Fogelberg's "Longer" he is just following directions and Randy should think of something other than song choice to comment on during his feedback session. But the big oaf cannot come up with anything original to say, so he comments on the song choice. And I'm with him, it is an awful song and it almost seems unfair except for the fact that Radio Disney has sung this type of boring ballad all season and so you know what? That's what you get. You reap what you sow. You like ballads, they gave you a ballad. Too bad, so sad. 

And the producers aren't doing Syesha any favors with "Hit Me Up" either. Of course, all three judges trash the song choice. And then sweet little Paula calls Syesha out and tells her that she doesn't think it is good enough to get her to the finals. Ouch. That hurts coming from the nice judge. Syesha looks like she's getting ready to have another breakdown, but she pulls herself together and puts on one of her fake smiles. 

My rocker dude friend gets to sing Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" and sing it he does. He blows it out of the auditorium and the audience is on their feet going crazy when he hits his final note. And that assclown, Randy, says it is predictable. You know what is predictable? Randy's lame commentary, that's what's predictable. 

So back to what I said at the beginning...David Cook wins the night. Hands down. And I think America will agree. If the final isn't a battle of the Davids, I will be shocked. My only concern is that the final song will most likely be a dramatic ballad - as they always are - and if that's the case, you can pretty much crown Radio Disney right now. Then again, if ever there was a contestant who could make it his is be David Cook. Still I think I'd rather see David Archuleta have to sing a rock song (cause he couldn't do it) than see David Cook sing a ballad (cause you know he'd make it spectacular). 

I've got my fingers crossed for the rocker...

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Down to Three

No surprises tonight. 

Well, that's not true - there was one - David Archuleta messed up the group sing by not starting on time. His father is going to be pissed. I bet you anything he gets a time out. Personally, I think it should be grounds for elimination. 

But it was Jason who was sent packing. He handled it like a pro; no tears, no sobs, no regrets. In fact, his smile was bigger than ever when he congratulated Syesha. I think he was relieved to be going home. And to be honest with you, I'm kind of envious that he is done. I've just about had my fill of Idol this season. 

I'm starting to sound like a broken record. How many times can I comment on Paula's state of mental health and Archuleta's inability to speak a coherent sentence? It's all getting very old. And these elimination nights are especially painful. Those viewer questions? Enough said. I don't think my finger ever really left the fast forward button. I need some new material and I don't think I'm going to get it from these clowns. 

It's all going to come down to a David face off. Let's just cut to the chase and spare us the shenanigans...

The Morning After

So did those of you who signed up for my e-mail notification actually receive it? I hope so. 

My friend, Marial, has an excellent suggestion...she thinks Idol should get creative, like they do on "The Biggest Loser", and drop the obvious bottom 2 and then let the audience vote someone back to the big stage.

So...who would you vote back? I'm going with Michael Johns....

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for the Final 4

It's rock and roll night. So it seems fitting that David, the rocker, should start us off. 

Actually, Jason starts us off with yet another one of his gi-normous yawns. Did you catch that? The four Idols are standing on the big stage with the lights and the cameras and the fans and the screams and the 35 million TV viewers and Jason proceeds to let out a yawn as if to say "Dude, I am so freaking bored." Seriously, what is up with that?

Ok, so back to David Cook and his version of "Hungry Like a Wolf". Just for the record, I am 100% behind this David. He is the man and I think he should take home the prize. But this song was just awright for me. He didn't seem to be that into it. Duran Duran? Really? Hmm.  

Then a very sexy Syesha Mercado saunters on stage to perform a karaoke version of "Proud Mary". And while Syesha has the big dance moves, she does not have the big voice. I think she sounds squeaky and high pitched. And now that Brooke is gone, Syesha thinks that she can take over the role of chatty contestant who doesn't know when to shut the fff....front door! If she says, "It's ok, it's ok, it's ok" one more time while Simon is critiquing her performance, I am going to jump through the TV and strangle her. (Yes, I can do that. I have a special TV.) Even while Ryan is wrapping things up and giving out her phone numbers I can still hear her saying, "I was just trying to have fun." in the background. ENOUGH already.

Jason, Jason, Jason. Ouch. "I Shot the Sheriff"? No, sweetheart, you actually shot yourself. In the foot. Are the Counting Crows in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Cause I would much rather hear Jason sing "Mr. Jones". I'll take Adam Durtiz's dreads over Bob Marley's any day of the week. 

Must I comment on David Archuleta? Radio Disney sings "Stand by Me" because he thinks it is a fun song to sing. What the? Fun? Paula compliments him on taking Lord Webber's advice to keep his eyes open and connect with the audience. Are we watching the same performance? Because I clearly see his eyes at half mast and his arm raised high and swinging back and forth. It's his signature stance. In fact, it's his only stance. Now I'm the one letting out one of those gi-normous yawns. And as per usual, David is completely SHOCKED that the judges like him. 

Round two....

David Cook redeems himself with "Baba O'Riley". I think this is THE BEST song of the evening. He makes Daltry and Townshend proud. And he makes me proud. I would love to see Radio Disney try to tackle a song like this. As if. 

And because Syesha opts to take on the role of Brooke, she ends her performance by having a nervous breakdown for all the world to see. Which is hardly uncomfortable to watch. She proclaims that she is singing "A Change is Gonna Come" because it has a lot of meaning. The Idols cannot seem to grasp the fact that songs with  a lot of meaning are meaningless unless they sound good. Period. If you have to explain to your audience that it is a song about the Civil Rights Movement which also has meaning in your life, well then, it's probably not the song to sing. Why is this concept so very difficult? So she starts bawling like a complete idiot and tries to blame her boo-hoos on the meaning of the song, when in fact we all know that it's because...Randy hurt her feelings. 

And then Jason seals the deal by singing (and forgetting) "Mr. Tamborine Man". Looks like he'll be heading back to campus in time for the weekend parties. Dude, I hope they are throwing you a killer welcome home party complete with all the party favors. Poor Carly Smithson; it had to kill her to sit in the audience tonight watching Jason throw away his chance at the big time. I'm sure she would have given her right arm (tattoo and all) to be up on that stage rockin' out tonight. 

Did Radio Disney really say that he is excited to sing a romantic love song because he hasn't done that yet? I'm sorry, I was under the impression that all the songs that he sings are romantic ballads. Hmm. I'm sure "Love Me Tender" sounds fantastic, but I cannot listen to another second of his schtick. Once again I find myself yawning one of those gi-normous yawns. 

And so tomorrow night, much to my dismay, but rightly so...Jason Castro leaves us. And then I start pulling for Syesha Mercado. I pray she can hold it together. 

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Sign up for e-mails!

Apparently some of you are not all over my blog?

From what I've been told, you much prefer receiving my rants and raves via e-mail rather than having to go through "all that trouble" of checking my blog. Wow. You people are busy. 

Some of you admit that it isn't an issue of time, it's just that you can't seem to get your head around the whole blogging thing. 

Still others tell me that they can't remember my blog address. 

So, in an effort to accommodate my busy, technology-challenged and forgetful friends, I have added a new feature to my blog. Drum roll please....a feature that allows you to sign up to receive an e-mail notification (that includes a link to the blog) whenever a new post is added. How's that for customer service?

I'm counting on you to let me know if it works as I'm far too busy, technology-challenged and forgetful to test it myself.