I don't have a good excuse as to why I didn't watch Idol this week, other than I'm just not that into it. The contestants bore me, the judges bore me and Vanity Fair arrived in the mail last weekend and I had a lot of reading to do.
But last night after watching The Good Wife and reading a lot of emails asking why I didn't blog about Idol, I decided to fast forwarded through the results show (at record speeds). I got a quick recap on everybody's performance and it was enough to give my two cents:
- Yes, Crystal Bowersox is a great artist, perhaps in a league of her own musically. But there is nothing about her personality that draws me in...and I still have a hard time getting past her teeth. Sure, the veneers are a vast improvement over Hollywood week, but she still kind of skeeves me. I think she needs a good scrubbing from head to toe. I want my Idol to be clean. (and while I am not a fan of the group sing...Crystal cannot lip sync to save her life.)
- Yes, Lee has a great voice and a great vibe, but I am soooo sick of the judges telling him that he has no confidence on stage. Lee has no confidence period, folks. His fellow contestants confirmed it...he doubts himself after every performance. That's his personality. The judges are constantly telling the Idols to be true to themselves...well, Lee is 100% true to himself; he is void of an ego. Unlike that big doofus Mike whose ego is bigger than his enormous body.
- Casey James is more than eye candy...he can actually sing. But he's awkward and goofy and I just don't enjoy watching him. This from a girl who likes candy - both the mouth and eye varieties. He's got a neck the size of a giraffe's - not that there is anything wrong with that - but it's just uncomfortable to watch. Stiff. The guy is way too stiff.
- Katie, Tim and Aaron are swell, but they lack originality. They all belong on the Disney Chanel, not Fox.
- And what those three lack in originality, Siobhan makes up for in leaps and bounds. She's ok when she sings, but when she opens her mouth to actually speak and try to make sense? Yeah, no, she completely loses me. Every time.
- The only thing that Andrew has going for him is that he's Lee's friend and roommate. So, for Lee's sake, I'm ok with him sticking around, but he brings nothing to the party.
As a group, they are the most unappealing Top Ten that Idol has ever showcased. I'm not just talking singing talent, I'm talking personality and charisma. I don't think any of them have what it takes to become a pop star.
So...Ryan starts the show by warning us to brace ourselves for a surprise or two. Whatever. Obviously one of the judges' favorites is the bottom vote-getter and surely they are going to exercise their right to save. Really? Was that so hard to predict? You know who I want to go home with week? Kara. But that's not going to happen.
So let's talk about Mike. The producers have been molding Mike into their teddybear since the moment his wife had her first contraction. By the time she was 9 millimeters dilated, the powers-that-be decided Mike had a good story. But I'm not sure America is buying it and based on this week's vote...clearly the producers missed the boat.
He is not nearly as charming as they think he is. Did you see his face when it became clear that he had received the lowest number of votes? Nothing likable about that face or that body language. In fact, he might have taken a lesson from fellow contestant Tim and freaking smiled! But he did not. At all. He looked pissed and if his fat biceps could have spoken, I think they would have said, "How dare you not vote for me, America!"
Even after Simon told Fat Mike that he would be around another week, his body language didn't say, "I am humbled, thank you for this opportunity. This is great!" it said, "Damn straight I'll be around another week. I deserve to be here." At least, that's how I translated the fist pumping and and chest thumping.
And speaking of body language, I didn't get the impression that the other Idols were totally overjoyed that Mike got the nod. There is not a lot of love between the Idols. I notice it each week when one of them learns that they are safe and returns to the couches. They don't high five one another or give each other hugs or words of encouragement. There is no sign of a strong group dynamic. (Which surely makes filming those Ford commercials an especially painful process.) I've noticed it on the judges' table, as well. Granted, Kara would sit on Simon's lap if they let her, but she rarely, if ever, has an exchange with Ellen (and visa versa). I'm just not feeling the love this season. Maybe Paula was the glue that held them all together.
Anyway, Mike might be around for another week, but I'm not sure I will be....