Monday, January 18, 2010

The 67th Annual Golden Globes

I've got to make this short and sweet for a couple of reasons: A) I feel like a Monday morning quarterback as the award show wrapped up over for 14 hours ago and B) I just came back from yoga and feel at peace with myself and my fellow man; not sure that it's good karma to start ripping on people and C) my daughter needs the computer to do her homework. But, she'll have to wait because the Golden Globes trumps Social Studies any day of the week.

In a nutshell: the show was a bit boring and straight laced, but...Ricky Gervais was the best host I've seen in years. Maybe ever. Somebody needs to sign him on for the Oscars. His best line was, "It's an honor to be here in a room full of what I consider to be the most important people on the planet...actors." He went on to add, "They're just better than ordinary people, aren't they?" Hysterical. The man is funny, acerbic and spot on.

And no sooner had he uttered those words when Mo'Nique graced the stage to accept her award. I believe she thought the award was given to her for solving world peace or curing cancer and not for Best Supporting Actress. But let me assure you, it was for Best Supporting Actress. Supporting actress. We're not even talking Best Actress. And so with all of her drama and emotion and tears and breathiness, she played right into Ricky Gervais' hand...they really do think they are the most important people on the planet.

Now, if you are a frequent reader of this blog, you know that I love actors and movies and good TV. My idea of heaven is a comfy seat, a bag of popcorn, a box of Milkduds, a jug of Diet Coke and a big movie screen that plays movie after movie after movie (and maybe an occasional TV show). But when James Cameron waxes poetic about how he and his fellow guests in the Beverly Hills Hilton should be proud of the entertainment they provide the whole world makes me laugh. James, honey, despite what you believe, the rest of us do not think that you are The King of the World. I'd take a cure for cancer over an animated movie any day of the week. And what is up with that old lady wig you are sporting? From the looks of it, I don't think he got himself a decent haircut the whole time he was making Avatar. Nasty.

On second thought, I guess I'm not really like a Monday morning quarterback, because I don't remember many great moments from last night. Hmm. I do remember thinking that somebody should check Harrison Ford for a pulse. Seriously, what is wrong with that man? He is beyond strange and it's very awkward to watch him on stage. I remember thinking that Toni Collett looked beautiful and even though I didn't know what show she stars in, I was glad that she won the Best Actress in a TV Series over that ridiculous Courtney Cox and that idiotic Cougar Town show.

I was delighted to see Julianna Margulies win for The Good Wife. I didn't want to like that show, but I have become a huge fan. She is incredible in the role and it's one of my favorite TV hours. (again, I will stress that with a DVR you can watch it in about 38 minutes).

It was no surprise that Meryl Streep won Best Actress in a Motion Picture. Julie and Julia was very entertaining and Meryl Streep's performance was top notch. So what else is new? What did surprise me was that her acceptance speech wasn't impossible to follow. She actually made sense and touched on Ricky Gervais' theme of not taking herself too seriously. Still, she bugs me.

I'll tell you who didn't make sense...Drew Barrymore. Her acceptance speech for Best Actress in a Miniseries may just as well have been spoken in Greek, because I didn't understand a word of it. She made a point of saying that she has been in the business for years, so one might assume that she'd have the acceptance speech thing down pat. Yeah, not so much.

I haven't seen Up in The Air yet, but I must admit to having a wild crush on Justin Reitman who won Best Screenplay. It's hard when you are not recognizable like the actors, but I thought his speech was clever and entertaining and, well, he's fantastic with words. (Loved when Ricky Gervais was introducing another category and warned, "it's a little bit of a downer, actually: It's for writing." Hysterical.)

I'll tell you who is weird..Chloe Sevigny. She thanked somebody for casting her in the role; insinuating that she is the furthest thing from a conservative Mormon. I don't know, I don't think it's that much of a stretch. Anybody who would marry a man who already has two wives is pretty strange, a little off. Well, when I think of Chloe Sevigny I think of somebody who is pretty strange and a little off. Not sure that took a leap of faith, Chloe. I hated her dress and was secretly pleased when her escort tore the abnormally long train. (This is what I mean! An hour of yoga wasted as soon as I start blogging about actresses. Damn.)

Ok, I've got to wrap this thing up....
  • Love me some Martin Scorsese and he is very deserving of the Cecil B. Demille Award, but he practically, ok, not practically, he put me to sleep with that long winded acceptance speech.
  • Huge smile on my face when Glee won (loved the comment about the make-believe teenage cast). But I have to admit...Modern Family is more deserving.
  • The Hangover was a bit of a surprise, but again, I was pleased. Not sure if it's necessary to make a sequel, but apparently it's in the works. If Mike Tyson is in, I'm out.
  • Not a fan of Sandra Bullock's, but I will agree she was fantastic in The Blind Side, so I will give her her props (Randy Jackson would be proud of me).
  • Why did Jeff Bridges get a standing O? Can somebody clarify that for me? I'm assuming it was because he's been overlooked in the past? Or maybe he solved world peace and I just haven't read about it yet? Maybe he and Mo'Nique were co-solvers? Do tell.
The award for best acceptance speech goes to Robert Downey, Jr. Love him. Love. Him. He is an actor who can laugh at himself. He heard Ricky Gervais loud and clear and delivered a speech for the record books. He is talented, he is hot, he is hysterical and I can't wait to see the next Sherlock Holmes adventure.

My daughter needs the computer and my son wants lunch. But I need to give my opinion on best dressed. Hang tight, kids....
  • Halle Berry wasn't up for an award, but she presented one and in so doing showed off her back and her breasts. The dress was a bit much, but Halle looked hot. If I looked like Halle, I would wear that dress everywhere. I'd wear it to the gym, to the grocery store, to the bus stop, I'd never take that thing off. Ever.
  • Jennifer Anniston looked gorgeous as well. Like Halle, she wasn't up for an award, but she strutted her stuff on stage revealing her yoga-toned legs (my legs will never look like that and I blame it on the bad karma I get for writing these reviews and not because of the cookies I inhale.)
  • Glenn Close looked beautiful. Loved her sparkly, black dress. It fit her like a glove. Can't wait for Damages to return....
  • I was not all over Sandra Bullock's hair or dress. I wish I could like her, but...I do not.
  • Jennifer Garner looked fabulous. I thought she had one of the best looks of the night. Where, pray tell, was her husband?
  • Drew Barrymore's dress was more like a costume. I did not care for it. I do not care for her. Enough said.
  • If I looked half as good as Sophia sex-kitten Loren I would be happy, but seriously, those rose colored glasses? What? I'm not saying she must wear contacts, but can we go with a more stylish set of specs? Literally...rose colored. What the?
  • Good to know that not much is new with Cher, but I thought Christina Aguilera looked fabulous.
  • The ladies of Mad Men should stick with their 1960's styles...I didn't think any of them looked good.
  • Helen Mirren always looks good. Always.
  • Cameron Diaz always looks like she needs a shower. Always.
  • What was Sir Paul sporting on his jacket? Were those Girl Scout badges?
  • Best Dressed Male = Robert Downey, Jr.
Bring on the Oscars...


Anonymous said...

Great wrap-up Laur. Though Ricky Gervais irritated me when he ribbed Sir Paul about his divorce settlement. Could you say a few words about Mariah Carey's breasts? I thought of you every time she was on camera (which seemed to be an awful lot).

L. said...

I think it was good clean ribbing. Loved his ribbing of Mel Gibson and Colin Farrell, as well. And I'm flattered that you think of me when you see Mariah and her girls. But no, no comment on Mariah and her spray tan. I said enough about her when I blogged about The People's Choice Awards. She is not worthy of any more of my time.

julie said...

Bravo, yoga bud. Excellent blog, (although you set the bar quite high with the holiday shopping rant) and a pleasure to read the events of the evening through your eyes.