I think I was most inspired by Paula's breasts. It was as if she was serving them up to all of America, whether we wanted them or not. I think I like Paula better when she's high.
So Michael John started us off with Aerosmith's "Dream On". What did I tell him about that ascot? I'm sorry, but unless you're Thurston Howell III, you have no business sporting the ascot. Lucky for Michael, I'm a fan, so I won't let it sway me. I thought he sang well tonight, but he certainly didn't shine like he did when he sang Dolly's little ditty. I didn't appreciate Michael giving Randy lip, especially when Randy was right. It's not about having fun or singing a song that means something to you, it's about choosing a song that's going to register with America and translate into votes. Period. But to his defense, I think he'll get enough votes tonight. He better.
Unlike Syesha. Syesha Mercado sang Fantasia's "I Believe". I knew as soon as Randy started his critique with that condescending little laugh of his that he was going to give his diva speech. Apparently Fantasia is up there with the likes of Whitney, Celine and Mariah: their songs are strictly off limits. If I had a dime for every time I heard it, I'd be a millionaire. So why isn't Syesha listening? I don't care who sang the song before her, Syesha's performance was cheesy and void of emotion. Whoa, whoa, whoa...and where did that choir come from? I realize now it's all part of the Idol Gives Back crap, but it took me by surprise, I must say. Anyway, no matter how you slice it, Syesha is no diva (with or without the choir). I think she'll be in the bottom 3 this week.
While Jason Castro will most definitely be in the TOP 3! Loved his version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". I must admit, at first the ukulele freaked me out a bit as I envisioned Tiny Tim tip toeing through the tulips. But it kind of grew on me. I thought his vocals were spot on and he was smokin' hot. And the song choice? Fabulous. It's right up with there with his Hallelujah performance.
And it pains me to admit that Kristy Lee Cook had a good night. She sang Martina McBride's "Anyway" and she sang it well - glittery eye shadow and all. She moves like a robot, raising her arms in a contrived attempt to look like a performer. But she doesn't fool me. I think she'll get her wish and avoid the Bottom 3 this week, but she's still not long for this Idol stage.
And while it pains me to admit that Kristy Lee Cook was good, it frightens me to admit that David Cook might take her seat in the Bottom 3. Or at least keep it warm for her. He sang "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace and I didn't like his song, his vocals or his white jacket. But I promised not to say another bad thing about him on account of his high blood pressure and sick brother. So, I really do hope that America cuts him some slack and votes him through for another week.
I'm not sure America is going to be quite as generous with Carly Smithson this week. She sang Queen's "The Show Must Go On" to less than stellar reviews from the judges. It wasn't one of her best vocals and it wasn't one of her best song choices. And despite what Simon said, it wasn't one of her best outfits. Can she not find a flattering pair of pants to wear? One that she doesn't have to pour herself into? I realize that's neither here nor there because as Randy likes to point out, this is a singing competition. Based on that fact...Carly might find herself with enough time on her hands (and arms) to get a new tattoo.
David Archuleta sang "Angels" and when I Googled it to see who wrote it (Robbie Williams), I found a few videos of David Archuleta singing "Angels" at other performances. I don't know about you, but that just takes away the magic for me. The same thing happened when he sang "Imagine": everyone was blown away by his performance only to learn that he's been singing that song for most of his life. It's as if David Archuleta has a repertoire of songs that he has perfected and sings over and over again. Where, pray tell, is the originality in that? Talk about taking a song and making it your own. I don't deny that David has a good voice, I just think he's a one trick pony and lacks creativity and originality. And doesn't deserve the kudos he's been getting.
Brooke White sang Carol King's "You've Got a Friend". Simon said it best when he described her performance as a pleasant walk in the park. She seems awkward when she's not sitting in front of her piano. And while I love her calm, soothing voice, this song was a little too safe for me. It was just awright, dawg. She might be in the Bottom 3 again this week. So get ready for the tears.
Tomorrow night Idol Gives Back returns and promises to be bigger and better than ever. The star-studded cast is more than I can get my head around. You can rest assured there will be many surprises. And after all the good is said and done, Idol returns on Thursday to boot one of the contenders. Who will it be? My money is on Carly Smithson. I think her number is up.