Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Songs From the Year They Were Born

Finally...the show is down to an hour! Unfortunately, it went over an hour and my DVR cut off (that's Southern for "stopped recording") before Adam had a chance to sing. Have no fear, I caught him mid-song on real TV. As if I have to hear Adam to know he was the best.

My iMac died yesterday so I'm upstairs in the office typing on a computer that I believe was made the year Allison was born. I have no idea what font will show up and and I'm not sure I'll have the patience to search for a picture since it moves at a snail's pace. But, the show must go on....

A word or two about the judges' baby pictures:
  • Randy was adorable (what happened?)
  • Kara gets Most Improved
  • Ryan says Paula looks "exactly the same". Um, yeah, that's because it's not a baby picture, she's practically full grown.
  • Same with Simon. He's about 7 years old in the shot. And he looks more like Michael Phelps than Simon Cowell
So the old man of the bunch, Danny Gokey, starts us off singing "Stand By Me" circa 1980. I thought it sounded like a Christmas carol. I didn't love the arrangement and he looked awfully nervous, but I love Danny's vocals. And I love Danny. As does Paula, evidenced by the fact that she is on her feet.

The year is 1985 and "All She Wants to Do is Dance" in the mosh pit. Do you think that was Kris' idea? Or do the producers give him extra credit for standing in the middle of all those people? I get claustrophobic just watching it. The mosh pit is the kiss of death and Kris' arrangement sealed the deal. I'm thinking Kris should have stuck to his guns and become a taxi driver and seen the world. Bummer, I love Kris, but tonight is all wrong. I can't believe I'm going to give Kara her props, but when she said it sounded like he was doing his jazz/funk homework, she was spot on. Paula didn't have anything nice to say about him...so she told him he was likeable. It's the male version of "you look beautiful tonight." Simon told him it was a "stupid, stupid song choice." and the dog agreed.

Good to know Lil Rounds is her real name. But, despite what her teacher told her, I don't think she'll see that name in lights any time in the near future. Her Tina Turner impersonation (walk and all) was painful to watch. Lil is incapable of making any song her own. She is void of artistry. She may have gotten away with just having a big voice in the first few seasons of Idol, but now it's all about artistry and making it your own and Lil just doesn't cut it. But...and that's a big but...I don't think she should go before Scott.

Anoop was born the same day as David Cook in December of 1986. The year I graduated from college. Ouch. Speaking of college...loved Anoop's shout out to the Tar Heels. He sang "True Colors" and while I loved it, I thought it sounded like the version in Dove's True Colors Campaign. (I'll give you the link here, but I can't be sure it's the version I've heard before because this computer doesn't have sound. Good times.) Simon said that Anoop is like a yo-yo, one week he's up, the next he's down. I agree. This week I liked him, but that doesn't mean I'm looking forward to hearing him next week.

"The Search is Over" and that's not all that is over...so is Scott. Seriously, that performance was beyond ridiculous. Horrible vocals, make-believe guitar playing, fish out of water feel to it. Ridiculous. Kara says, "I have to commend you..." WHY? Why must you commend him on that performance? You just tore Lil to shreds, how about doing the same to Scott. Then it's Paula's turn and she says, "I have to give you credit for stepping away from the piano..." WHY? Why on earth does he deserve credit for that? She knows there is nothing good to say so she adds, "You have a wonderful sense of humor." No, he does not, Paula. He isn't funny and he cannot sing. Or play the guitar, for that matter. My husband is in the kitchen (fixing my iMac) while I watch in the den and I hear him ask, "Why don't they tell him that he sucks?" Because he is blind, sweetie (how is my iMac?). Randy says it was "all ok." NO, IT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY OK, Randy. And Scott fires back, "At least I'm versatile." NO, YOU ARE NOT REMOTELY VERSATILE, Scott. Enough is enough, he must go home.

Allison was born in 1992 and sang "I Can't Make You Love Me." She is unbelievably talented with a magical voice. Loved this performance. Paula was right: it was Bonnie Raitt's arrangment, but she still managed to make it her own. Simon agreed that it was superb, but added that she needs to work on her image. Here, here. I've been saying that for weeks. She needs a stylist and a personality coach and she needs it fast. It's a shame that such an amazing talent can only score a 1 on the likeability scale. There is something about her that reminds me of Kelly Clarkson, but it's not Kelly's girl-next-door personality, that's for sure. I don't dislike her, but I don't like her, either. And I want to....

But I'll tell you who I do like/love/lust after...Matt. He sang "Part Time Lover" and Paula got up on her feet. It was a verrry cool version and Matt sang his heart out. We're almost out of time and the judges are speeding through their critiques. Randy keeps it short and sweet...something like..."Yo, Matt, check it out...vocally one of the best of the night." Kara bows down to him, Paula has two words for him: Standing O. Simon agrees.

But saves the actual standing ovation for Adam, who truly is amazing and has distanced himself from the rest of the pack. Sure, there are good vocals in the group, but nobody comes close to Adam's showmanship and star quality. I'm not sure if Simon gave him a standing ovation because it was the best song EVER or because there was no time left to comment - probably a little bit of both. But man, that Adam is the man to watch.

So, roll the tape one last time....
1) Gokey: love him, but he's a bit of an old fart, no? He's getting the old lady vote, for sure.
2) Kris: If he's not in the bottom 3, it's because he's so cute...and he is cute.
3) Lil: Bad, bad, bad impersonation of Tina Turner. Worse the second time around. Whoa...
4) Anoop: What's up with the lime green cardigan?
5) Scott: Versatile, my ass.
6) Allison: She is a walking, talking Glamour Don't.
7) Matt: He's bringing sexy back...
8) Adam: The man to beat.

Bottom 3: Scott, Lil and Kris.

Who's going home? It's definetly Scott's turn...but I bet it will be Lil.

1 comment:

Cheri said...

Agreed! It's as if Adam doesn't realize that he's a contestant. He's not competing, he's actually doing it! I don't know who can touch him (not even my beloved Danny). Sadly, I think I'm pretty much over Anoop -- after last week's "I'm sorry?" to Kara and this week's claim that his parents doted on him so much that he now doesn't like to be photographed, he's starting to sound like a brat. And Scott, is it just me or are the judges now actually treating him like a mentally-handicapped child? It's almost patronizing, and I think that, sadly, he'll pick up some votes as a result ...